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26th 2013 I was told that I had breast cancer. My life as I knew it
had ended.Nowhere in my life plan was
cancer a conscious choice, but at the age of 43 there it was, a lump the size
of a golf ball glaring at me.For the
first time in my life I completely let go.It was a whirlwind of Doctors, surgeries, scans, tests and people came
from everywhere to help heal me.Writing
was a great help in constructively dealing with my emotions.I published a book of Poetry while I was
going through cancer treatment.
came as family, neighbours, clients and friends
came with words, food, packs, cards and love
came and they healed
my energy I had focused on others
immersed and focused only on one
worked on the inside out
became my daily mantra
shielded myself from the darkness
hid myself when I could not face others
there was conventional war fare – the lump was sliced out
there was chemical war fare – poison within
there was nuclear war fare – radiated until my skin glowed
eastern healers complimented the war fare
soft crystals, massage
treatment is still going
each day I start to see the light
that I will be stronger – my spirit, my body, my heart and my mind
am no longer in a hurry
world has slowed totally down
savour my daughter’s smiles, my partner’s kisses and my puppy dog’s love
am living in the moment
a constructive mind
to be alive one day at a time
is now nearly two years since I was diagnosed and I am ready to face the world
more and rekindle my joy.
Gift Cancer Provides
always thought I had a well-balanced life and was healthy, but I was
wrong.So much of my day to day energy
was being directed outwardly to clients, staff, family, friends, mother mafia,
community and too little was directed internally to me. There were too many
‘shoulds’ in my life, I wasn’t being kind to myself. Cancer provided me with
the opportunity to release all.I shed
the lump, hair, dignity, humility, work, control, friends who weren’t really
friends, family members who really didn’t care and stripped back to my core
being.What was left? Pure light energy
and joy, it was hiding all the time and I was too busy to notice, nurture and
am now very selective of whom and what enters my life and my circle of
joy.My life is slower and I love this.I am no longer busy. I am even more present and quite discerning on
who I work with and who I befriend. A harsh, over pleasing, martyr part of me
has been released.I don’t need her
created a 30 year life intentions plan and my wonderful husband and daughter
added their intentions.We have it on a
piece of butcher paper in our bedroom to remind us of all the things we want to
experience.For me it represents hope to
have something to live for.
tips I would like to share with anyone who is going through a health scare or
if you have loved ones experiencing cancer:
1.Don’t fight the cancer, acknowledge it,
accept it, thank it and then release it (visualise the lump disappearing and
the chemo and radiation killing off any dregs). Put all your energy into being
well. Have a healing mindset, heal yourself and accept healing from all around
2.Switch your mindset into constructive zone –
there will be many bad days, but do not go over them and dwell on them.Mix chemo sessions with a facial, favourite
food, funny movie and whatever can make you feel happy.Appreciate the days you can get out of bed
and be grateful of the blessing of life itself. Immerse yourself with love and your
3.Get your best western and eastern healing
team.I combined surgery, chemotherapy,
radiation therapy with crystal healing, acupuncture, Chinese medicine,
meditation and massage.
4.Get your partner to guard you from
well-meaning friends and family who pop up out of the wood work.You cannot spare any energy on them.
5.Receive help – food, care packages, cards, books,
DVDs, taking care of children, taking care of husband… You know you would be
there for others and now it is your turn to receive.
6.Always have someone with you when seeing
Doctors or receiving treatment – too much is going on to be on your own and
mistakes can happen.
7.When you have had a blessed life it is easy
to say that is enough and let go – BUT renew your hope to live and focus on WHO
still needs you and what YOU still need to experience.My daughter Siena saved my life she was 7
when I got cancer, she was my motivation to live.
8.Have a dog by your side – your Chief
Happiness Officer.My Jack Russell
Terrier lay by my side while I was recovering through chemotherapy and
unconditionally licked my tears when I was sad. She was and is my companion in
9.Disease is a universal wake-up call –
remember what is most important for you and let the rest go…
10.Have courage, you need every ounce of your
strength to get through this.
up every morning feeling blessed to be alive.I nurture and put energy into my own well-being.I am now having enough energy to give to
others, sparingly and selectively. I see healing and well-being as my on-going
work in progress. I am extremely mindful of whom I work with, help and choose
clients with aligned values and who have the desire to grow and learn.
I am not
delusional; my western doctor visits are very good at reminding me of my on-going
risks.I am choosing not to focus on the
risks, this only brings sadness and fear.
choosing to be as healthy and joyful as I can be one day at a time. Thank you
to all my Angels that have helped me and continue to be part of my circle of
joy.I hope you don’t have a circle of
sadness, anger, boredom, frustration, apathy – life it too precious. I hope you
have your own circle of joy.